Impacts of Parent’s Separation and Divorce on Children (2006)

Dr Jacob Eisenberg, PhD. Social Psychology, University College Dublin

The consequences of family conflict and ultimately the breakdown of the relationship, resulting in divorce and its adverse effects on the well being of family members, especially where children are involved, have been prominently discussed in the past few decades by policy makers, researchers and community members alike in Europe and the USA. The Republic of Ireland joined this discourse much later than the UK and other European nations, largely due to the fact that divorce became legal in Ireland in 1997. As Legal Separation and Divorce become more commonly practiced among Irish couples, public and legislators endeavour to understand the impacts of these processes on families and the community at large. The following report is intended as a brief summary of some of the research that may inform us on these important matters.

“In bitter custody battles, parents aren’t fighting for their kids, they are fighting through them” (Jargon, 2004)

Separation and divorce are never a pleasant experience and should not be taken lightly. Often, however these actions may be preferable, for the couple and their children, over a reality ridden with continuous conflicts and discord among parents. Given that separation and divorce are often inevitable, we should as a responsible society, seek to minimise their adverse impacts on children and families. Researchers in the field of family and mental health agree that “Research evidence clearly demonstrated that, on average, children from divorced families are not as well adjusted as those in intact families” (Bauserman, 2002). Bearing in mind these negative impacts, some social workers and psychologists recommend joint custody as a mechanism that could reduce some of the negative consequences for children (e.g. Bender, 1994; Roman & Haddad, 1978). The next section looks at some of the leading research in this area.

One of the most authoritative studies on this topic published in recent years was a large scale research conducted by Prof. Bauserman who works in the US Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. According to Bauserman’s study which was published in the prestigious Journal of Family Psychology, clear evidence indicates that “children in joint custody are better adjusted, across multiple types of measures, than the children in sole (primarily maternal) custody. The difference is found within both joint physical and non-physical custody and appears robust”. (p. 97, 2002).

In less technical terms, the study found that compared to children in sole custody situations, joint custody children were better off in their psychological and physical well being and showed better social adjustment with their peers and in school. Simply put, joint custody children were happier, healthier and better adjusted and behaved than the ones from sole custody environment.

This would be good point to note that, both in Europe and North America, the large majority of custodial parents are mothers (Braver et al., 2003) and only rarely do fathers get to have primary custody of children in divorced families (Bauserman, 2002). Thus the practical effect of courts awarding sole custody is typically that fathers end up having a reduced and in most cases, unsatisfactory level of involvement in their children’s lives. Another large scale study conducted in 1999 by Amato and Gilbreth, found that in the case of non resident fathers, closeness to the father and authoritative parenting by the father were positively associated with behavioural adjustment in parental relations and spent significant amounts of time with the father, allowed more opportunity for authoritative parenting”. (Bauserman, 2002, p.98).

In spite of these overwhelming findings, it is common for divorced parents, prevalently mothers, to fight for sole custody. Julie Jargon, a journalist, who researched this issue wrote “ Leslie wanted sole custody of their five year old son, while Scott wanted joint custody. After Leslie and Scott divorced, she was awarded sole custody; Scott was granted weekly visits with his son. But sole custody did not satisfy Leslie...in short, Leslie would have preferred that Scott had nothing to do with their son”. (Jargon, 2002. p. 1). When such attitude becomes routine, both children as well as non custodial stand to lose and suffer the consequences.

Richard Gardner, a child psychiatrist and a Columbia University professor termed such situations as ‘Parental Alienation Syndrome’. Gardner (1998) concluded that this syndrome, representing a continuum of behaviours, can be most detrimental to a child’s well being in the short term and the long term.

While by the early 1990s joint custody was becoming an increasingly more common court decision in both the US and Europe, Bauserman (2002) notes that “However, current research suggests that judges in some areas continue to show a strong preference for maternal custody” (p.99). What could be some of the implications for policy makers, given the present reality in Ireland, where sole custody of separated family’s children has been routinely granted to mothers? It seems that, in many regards the current situation in Ireland is bothering.

This is evident in a recent report based on research commissioned by the Department of Social and Family Affairs in Ireland. In their report, Ferguson and Hogan (2004) quote McKeown et al. (2001) who wrote “one element of the family system that is routinely ignored by most family services is fathers...we have no reason to believe that fathers, both resident and non resident, are any less in need of support services or any less affected by the well being of the family system” (p.120). One conclusion from Ferguson and Hogan’s extensive report is that “It is now widely accepted that fathers are generally excluded from bulk of childcare and family support work...we found that the overall orientation of welfare systems to exclude men is so powerful…they were excluded simply on the basis of stories, appearances, perceptions” (p. 7-8).

Furthermore, they write “ Our data suggests that we need to move away from simple dichotomies of ’bad man, good woman’... Underpinning  all these exclusionary influences is the powerful dominant belief that men don’t care about or for their children, that they can’t care won’t care. This exclusion is underwritten by law, as well as by cultural practices”. (p. 52). The authors go on and describe how these unfortunate and distorted perceptions of reality are detrimental for unmarried and separated fathers and consequently, for their children.

 
It clearly appears that as far as solid, research based evidence is concerned, the Irish public, the Irish legislator and the legal system should all strive to encourage and act to significantly increase the granting of joint custody. Furthermore, there is a strong voice among family practitioners in general and in Ireland in particular, that calls us all to revisit and update the biased and inaccurate notions that we have been holding on fatherhood and men’s role as parents.

In the thrust of negative emotions accompanying a couple’s separation and divorce, it is often hard for parents to see and act on what  is best for their children. Shouldn’t we expect that the courts act first and foremost as champions and advocates for the children, who often do not have a voice in court hearings and strive to minimise the adverse effects of divorce on them?