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MJ is a fictional character with true stories to tell. In camera ruling prohibits the publishing of the true identities of participants.
Mickey transgressed. Again. Oh what a joy it is to be a teenager. Hormones, Alco pops and clubbing. It’s a hard life, so much fun so little time. WRONG.
MJ, eighteen years old. He was having as normal a life as any teenager can have. College, part time work but no girlfriend. It was not a priority. He has two sisters and the sisters have friends who all live in a small town where every one knows everybody. Same schools, same friendly little neighborhood and nowhere to hide.
Life is ambling along till that fateful day. A party is being held at MJ’s place of work. A Christmas party. The most dangerous of liaisons take place at this time of the year. A young lady approaches and shows interest. MJ is flattered, in fact very flattered. She works in the same place and is a friend of his older sister. Went to the same school and literally grew up in the same neighborhood but you know, sisters do not like for you to play with their friends. MJ had only known this girl as his sister’s friend till this day.
There was a friendly chat, flirtatious behavior and good old craic. Folks who do not know craic, have not lived. It’s the Irish way of having fun till the cows come home. Dinner turned to drinks which graduated to a little hanky panky or as it’s cool to say, shifting. Needless to say it happened. The same very thing which my generation referred to as sex but is now referred to as making love. All five seconds of it. This is going to haunt MJ for the rest of his life.
They were never boyfriend and girlfriend. No relationship, no dating, nothing. Zilch. Three months later MJ gets a call announcing he is to be a proud father of a bouncing baby. A text message, the modern way of civil communication. He was stunned, speechless, gob smacked, neutered for the rest of his natural life. Viagra has a challenge, if it ever needed one. He tells his family. The older sister puts the blame firmly on him. The rest of the family are in a state of shock. This never happens to church going, god loving good families. Guess what, think again. It can happen to any one and does happen. In fact more often than not. This is sex education at its best.
Poor MJ tries to get in touch with her. None of his calls are answered. He tries to visit her but is always turned away. He offers to go to the hospital with her, for the ultra sound, pre natal classes and whatever. Thwarted yet again. He offers financial assistance with help from his family. No answer. Now the baby is born. He still cannot see his child. Not allowed. She would text him to come and see her and then change her mind. His older sister has gone quiet and left home. She cannot stand what is happening. The whole family is in turmoil.
Now the fun begins. MJ got a call. Give me the money you promised or else. By her estimation, it is close to €4,500. MJ is in a loop and has no idea what to do. He is a student and his future is going down the drain. His mother has suspicions due to something that is said. She asks him to have a paternity test. The girl refuses but still wants the money. This is an ongoing saga.
I have advised him to take the matter to the family court and have it sorted out properly. He has been told the facts.
If he is the father, by law he has to pay maintenance for at least 18 years, 23 if the child decides to go to college. His paternal rights are next to nothing but his future is over. His life will never be the same again. He will be a middle aged man before he gets freedom to enjoy any kind of life. That’s the way the law is and it shall be enforced with vigour. All I can do is feel for him but there is little anyone can do for him till the politicians see sense and bring in legislation to counteract the monstrosity that exists in the shape of our family court system.
In the meantime all I can say is that there is a lesson in it for all of us. Think before you leap, especially where a bed is concerned. For once I am grateful for the abstinence of sex in my life. Always look at the glass half full, that’s me. Good luck to the rest of you.