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MJ is a fictional character with true stories to tell. In camera ruling prohibits the publishing of the true identities of participants.
MJ is an old friend. We have known each other for a while now. About fifteen years to be exact. I knew him when he was a jack the lad. Typical man as many would say, even though I have a problem understanding what a typical man is supposed to be.
It’s amazing how little you know about people who you know on a daily basis. He did the usual, a few jars here and a bit of mischief there. Always popular with the ladies though god knows what they saw in him. By now he is happily married with two adorable children. One thing about him, anyone who needs a favour will knock on his door and he will never say no. How often he has been used by people is anyone’s guess. The most obliging of men and the love for his children is there for any one to see. He has had bad times but not once did he become a burden on anyone.
Now it gets interesting. We were having a social chit chat and I noticed something was not quite the same. I have a bad habit, if I am worried about anyone or anything, I ask. He gave me an answer that was most unlike him. I knew in good time he will talk. At our next meeting he wanted to talk.
What transpired was that he was going out with this girl about fourteen years ago. Liberal sexual attitudes have a lot to answer for. She got pregnant and a baby daughter came along. He was not fazed at all. Surprisingly he took it all in his stride. Everything was moving along hunky dory. She had a place of her own and he had his own flat. Then they decided to live together and she moved in with him. They were like a normal couple going about their daily business till the day he came home to find she was not there. All her things and the baby were missing. He being what he is did his best to find out where they had disappeared.
Like most men he had no idea how the family system works. Eventually he gave up and found solace with a pint or two. Him not being a guardian and no written access, he had no right to go looking for either of them. Life moved on and so did MJ.
He met another girl and they got married. Bought a house and now have two beautiful children. This is where it really gets interesting. MJ receives a summons from the court requiring him to appear for maintenance hearing. Its been thirteen years since he last saw his child. The first girlfriend had moved to the UK and had two other children by two other men. Now she has three children by three different men and MJ has to appear in court.
The award is made against him to make maintenance payments and she is trying to get the arrears, which are denied by the judge. Even he acknowledged she should not have absconded. But law being what it is MJ has no rights till he gets guardianship but has to pay.
Here is the sad part. His marriage has gone down the pan in the space of three weeks. His wife cannot handle what transpired years ago. MJ is doing his best to deal with a child he does not even know. The child’s mother won’t let him see his daughter. She is co habiting with another man. His record is nothing to be proud of and has been known to the gardai for drug dealing offences. Yet the state decides the mother is the best place for the child.
Now she is in receipt of lone parents allowance, rent allowance even though she has two students as tenants, does part time child minding and in receipt of any benefit that is going. What has MJ got to show, nothing. His life may as well be over. His marriage definitely is. MJ is as tough a man as I have ever known. What you see now is a lost soul, lifeless, down in the dumps and totally shattered. The only consolation is both the children have told the mother she can go because they wont leave Dad. Be thankful for small mercies. I wonder if the honorable judge will see it the same way. With their past record, I very much doubt it. God love him and the others who are facing the same hell. I wish them the best of luck!