What does it take to be a Better Dad

"Any father who has abandoned the small voice of his unique genius, turning it over to the small child he has fathered, cannot bear reminders of what he has neglected.... Result: a child-dominated fatherless culture with dysfunctional children”. McKeown et al. (2001)

Six ways to be a Better Dad

1. BEING A ROLE MODEL

As a dad, you are a role model whether you realise it or not. How you act teaches your kids how to act when they grow up. For example, if you talk problems through, your kids will probably grow up to do the same. If you lose your temper, get abusive or become violent, your kids will probably grow up to do the same.

• Kids learn mainly from what you do, not what you say.
• Treat your daughter with love and respect so she grows up expecting to be treated the same by boys and men.
• Teach your son that a man is caring, fair, a mate to his kids and treats women with respect.

2. SHOW THEM YOU CARE

Getting involved in your kids’ lives is a terrific way to show your kids you care.

• Do things that they want you to do.
• Give them a hug and tell them they’re great.
• Help out with their homework.
• Play footy or basketball.
• Go to a school function, go to parent / teacher interviews, watch them play sport.
• Learn their friends and teachers names.

3. WORK AND FAMILY

Let’s face it, work can be tiring, stressful, and create worries. No doubt these worries are for real, but it isn’t fair or useful to pass them on to your kids.

• Put aside some time just for you to recharge your batteries.
• Look after your health through diet and exercise.
• Try and leave your work hassles at work.

4. WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR KID’S BEHAVIOUR IS NOT O.K.

Set rules and stick to them. Be clear about what will happen when the rules are broken. This could include not letting your kids watch their favourite TV program. If they break the rules, do
what you said would happen.

• As hard as it is, try and stay calm!
• When you feel stressed and feel that you might lash out - walk away.
• Leave the room and do something to distract yourself.
• Don’t act in anger or you will probably regret what you do.
• Kids need to learn right from wrong.

5. PARENTING AND PARTNERSHIPS

Being a parent is a partnership - whether you and your children’s mother are together or not.

• Respect your kid’s mother.
• Don’t argue in front of the kids.
• Do something about relationship problems.
• Get professional advice if you can’t sort out problems together.
• Kids can’t cope with their parents putting each other down.

6. SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KIDS

The time you spend with your kids is a good investment in their future. Show your love by getting involved with their sports or hobbies or involving them in your interests. Kids grow up so quickly, so don’t miss out!

• Share a regular meal.
• Talk to your kids.
• Listen to their views without criticising.
• Praise their efforts.
• Encourage them and help them make decisions.      
                                                                                
The Office for Families and Children, Southern Australia